The Most Important Thing

Just about a year ago I started climbing a mountain I didn't want to climb...and the whole family has had to climb it with me, and they don't want to either!  Along the way we have learned some important lessons, some small, some life changing.  It's about time to record some of them.

Last February I started itching, then feeling constant nausea, my bowels were weird, then I started losing weight.  Near the end of March I had a trip planned to visit Claire--she insisted I go to the doctor first so I'd feel better while I was there.  In the back of my brain I wondered if these were serious symptoms, but in my journal I wrote:  I don't feel at all worried, if it is serious, then it is...and it must be God's answer, so surely good will come of it.  Hopefully all will be well, 'but if not'...

My blood work showed my liver numbers were off the chart, so right away I had an ultra sound, an appointment with Dr. Chow, the most amazing GI doctor, an endoscopy with a stint placed in the bile duct, and then on Tuesday the diagnosis:  a small cancerous tumor, Ampullary Carcinoma.  On Thursday we had an appointment with surgeons in Seattle and on Monday, April 1st, 2013, I had my first operation, a Whipple Procedure.  It all happened so fast. 

Just before we left for the surgery I wrote in my journal:  I feel calm and totally at peace.  I really feel like it is in God's hands, He knows me, and as Paul Jennison blessed me tonight, He has a plan for me.  He also blessed me that everyone who comes into my space will be at their best.  It was a blessing full of love.

The surgery showed I was at stage 3, 14 of 16 lymph nodes were infected, but it didn't appear to be in any other organs--I got that news on April 5th--exactly 2 years after Mom died of ovarian cancer.

A week later I met with an oncologist who proposed chemotherapy, but didn't give great odds of long term survival.  We read everything we could and the prognosis was dismal--with or without chemo.  We met with Dr. Ray Dent, our family friend from Kent, WA and an excellent Naturopath.  He proposed an aggressive program designed to strengthen my immune system and to make a hostile enviornment for cancer cells to grow.

So...the most important things I learned this first month of cancer diagnosis...I DO trust God!  I can say in the most important situations, 'Thy will be done' and truly mean it and want it.  I found out God knows ME--I know He knows others, now I know He knows and loves ME!